Pressing Pause

The interim.

The in-between.

Downtime.

The pause.

I used to dread this time in my life. The time after you have completed a big event. You know, something you’ve worked years on and then it's over. Like high school. College. Wedding. Job promotion. A move. Or a work project.

You achieve it and then it’s like, “Now What?”

Or on the other end of the spectrum when things fall apart. A divorce. A death of a loved one. A job loss. An unwanted move.

Be still. Live in the discomfort.

There is a wait. A pause.

Back in the day I filled this time with activities. I threw myself into the next thing. I joined a bible study, started doing yoga twice a day, volunteered, or better yet, took on a new project.

Whatever it took to fill the void.

The time between was uncomfortable for me. I didn’t know what to do with my extra time. It was uncomfortable.

But not anymore.

I’ve learned to appreciate the pause. To find the magic in it.

To be still with purpose.

Pause.

For me it is about learning to find self-worth without proving myself to anyone. Even me.

And it’s hard.

I’ve been programmed to believe my worth is in what I do. No in who I am.

Switching that mindset has been challenging. I still find myself thinking it’s lazy to wake up and watch the sunrise, drinking tea on the back porch, watching the birds. Inside I keep thinking there are things I should be doing.

In yoga teachers training, we are taught that the pause between poses, between breaths, is when true yoga emerges.

I am beginning to believe that is true in life too.

That in the pause life truly happens. Organically. Authentically.

Magically.