The Goddess

The month of May has always been one of my favorites. It could be because the weather is changing and spring is turning into summer. Where Mother Earth is fertile, ripe with abundance. It is also my birthday, which, depending on how you look at it, could be a positive or a mortality reminder.

I believe, for me, it is something a bit deeper.

May makes me feel like a girl.

You know, female.

Most of the time I don’t feel very feminine. I have been told I have a “man-brain” which I have discovered means I’m not over emotional about most things. Practical would be another way to put it. And over the years, my worldy role has been more along the traditional lines of a masculine stereotype. Independent. Self-reliant. Dominant. Assertive.

And they would be right.

But, not in May. In May I feel feminine. My inner goddess does a little wiggle and decides its time to peak out from the layers of responsibility she is hidden under and be vulnerable. She remembers what it is to be the ultimate creator. Of life. Of family. Of self.

To be a part of the Sisterhood.

I hide from this part of me. I have always thought of her as weak, weepy, emotional, uncontrolled, and gossipy. I have never been one to appreciate shopping or go on a girl’s weekend. The idea is even a bit overwhelming.

You heard that right. I don’t like to shop.

But in May, well, it's different. I want to wear dresses. Walk barefoot through the yard. Meet girlfriends for coffee. Get my toes done. Dance under a full moon. Feel every emotion.

To create.

To be whimsical.

Unfettered and free.

To think new thoughts.

To try new things.

To be girly.

Without guilt, shame, or fear.

May is the month where I choose to soak in the magic of the feminine. To be soft. Graceful. Divine.

Embracing the authentic version of myself means allowing myself to welcome in all parts of me, not just the ones I am most comfortable with. I have lived so long in the left side of my brain, it is scary to see what resides in my right brain. To be Yin instead of Yang.

But that’s what I want to do.

I want every month to be May.